Hi there!
Welcome to our exciting Privacy Policy page for TechDetective.com.
Here we cover all the juicy details about the terms and conditions on TechDetective. We’ll journey through the magical world of information we collect about our lovely readers on this website (‘the site’), and we’ll also touch on how we store that information (mostly on old floppy discs, but also online) and how we use it.
A smartly-dressed woman advised us to say to read this policy thoroughly before using TechDetective.com. By using this website, you are agreeing to this privacy policy. If you disagree with the policy – please leave the website.
Please note: disagreeing does hurt the Privacy Policy’s feelings.
That being said – don’t worry. We’re not out to get you. Other than get you help with your Tech problems.
Let’s dive into the juicy details.
Right now, we don’t have any advertising on TechDetective. Isn’t that crazy!
We’re a new site on the block, and our focus is just creating helpful content and building an audience. In future we may include a small amount of ads to help pay for the many Androids and iPhones we break in our extreme testing laboratory – where we try to decipher every secret held by these phones (though we won’t lie, they often don’t talk).
As much as we love you – our audience – we don’t gather any personal information without asking you first (we swear!). We may ask you to sign up to an email list, in which case we’ll store your email, name, and any IP data provided (which pretty much just tells us what country you’re from – so we can imagine the tasty food you might like to eat). We don’t collect any other information that could identify you.
Thanks to the magical world of Google Analytics, we do collect some non-personal information about our visitors. This may include things like your demographic details (gender, device, age, etc), location, access information (i.e. when you used the site and what pages you visited), and what you searched to find our website on Google or other search engines.
Unfortunately, we can’t get Google Analytics to tell us your horoscope sign, your favorite takeout order, or who your secret crush is.
The smart lady also advised us to say that TechDetective isn’t targeted at children under 13 years old, and we don’t intend to collect any information from children.
I mean, why would we? They just like to get all messy and make your phone all greasy with their dirty fingers. So rude!
If you are under 13 and reading this, we have a carefully translated message for you:
“Hey fam, u should like totally ditch this site and come play Roblox. Who even reads TechDetective LOL, just adults with jobs and rezponsiblites. Check this lit banger on YouTube instead“
Here at TechDetective, we want to create content that helps you out. After you’ve read it, we’d love to hear your feedback – so we turned on comments after every post. Please use the comments to tell us what you thought about the post, what you ate for breakfast, and who you think is really running the world.
When leaving a comment, please remember that it will be public. Everyone on the entire internet could end up reading what you write! So make it good. We’ll ALL be watching.
This policy may change in future. If it does, every change will be first reviewed by a team of over 300 super-intelligent mice who have been bred solely to ensure the accuracy of privacy policy documents. When changes are made, our furry team will make sure this page will also have the most up to date information.
If the ownership of the website changes in future (this may happen due to us selling out to the man, or aliens invading earth to take over Tech websites), any data we store will be transferred to the new owners. In which case we’ll ask very nicely that the new owners follow and/or update this privacy policy. Hopefully keeping a version in English, and not all in Alienese.
If you are receiving any form of contact from us, we only want that to happen if you want it to. If you need us to stop contacting you, please use our Contact Page to demand that we cease all communications with you. This will make us very sad, but we will respect your privacy and will only continue to watch you from afar.
Hey dude, Cali’s civil code makes us disclose any of your information we share with other parties. We totally don’t share any of your info (and never will man), but if you like want to check and make sure, just hit us up over on our radical Contact Page and we’ll scope that out for you man. Stay awesome.
Last Updated 03/08/2022. Enjoyed this Privacy Policy? Make sure to also check our About Page and Terms & Conditions.
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